Sheep Deprived

I can’t find number five. One, two, three, four. The owl is here again tonight. Two moons like headlights on the old highway. The one that took me the back way through the rural parts of Victorville. He isn’t happy with me. He rarely ever is. One more drink? You obviously have no problem finding that number five. I hate that fucking owl. One, two, three, four. He’s crouched there beside the door – like the guy from the break in. You remember him right? Dark corners breed darker thoughts. If you don’t let him in he can’t see you. He couldn’t. That wasn’t the point. Did he tell you that’s his van right there? He didn’t. Sleeping sheep are soft and sweet when wild wolves are wily. They keep me from sleep. I watch the movies project from the whites in my eyes onto the unlit ceiling. Those nights in the RV. The ones where I cried to fall asleep. Sad eyes are tired eyes. It’s hard to think they never heard me. The dancing reflection of the highway on the ripples in the pool, seen through teary eyes and he was there too. Waving from the post. Sleep. Sheep. One. He moved again. I lost him. Two. Maybe if I shut my eyes. Three. I know he’s just behind them. Remember? Remember? Let the sheep free. Now where has four gone off to?

The Sheep

Goodnight poor restless morning, still haunting in your mind.
If only you could get to sleep, I know that you could find
The words to put on paper, the words that make you see
The sounds of terror in your mind, have always come from me.
The dark and distant chatter, the sounds of running feet,
The sounds of rustling up above, the feeling of defeat.
I know you hear me taunting. I know you hear me scream,
And I know deep down inside you’ve always known it’s me.
Sometimes I think you hate me, sometimes I’m what you need.
You’re in denial if you think you’ll make it without me.
I’m the one who’s loved you, the one who’s kept you safe,
The one who pushed all the people that you loved away.
I know you think you need them, but all you need is sleep.
Now rest dear child, for in the morning all you’ll have is me.
 
Good morning – well, bad morning, I should really say.
I bet a deep, dejected nap, would make it all okay.
You’re not strong enough to face it, trust me you’d agree.
We both know that to strive for life, is just a desperate plea.
You’re useless and you know it, you’re simply far too weak.
You sound pathetic crying there. You shouldn’t even speak.
Trust me they can’t help you. They don’t understand.
They are only nice to you because you’re never sad.
They wouldn’t like the real you. Don’t be so naïve.
You don’t even like you, that’s why we must deceive.
Now keep your secrets hidden – between just you and me
It’s better to be hurt inside than show that your in need.
You know the way to oust me, but you’re just too weak.
For now a quiet mind requires just a bit of sleep.
 
Hello my darling child, now you see me in your dreams.
I’m growing stronger every day at your disesteem.
I hear you when you cry at night, cry yourself to sleep,
I feel your angst, disquiet now, spirit almost freed.
Giving up is easy now. Now that you believe
That everything worth fighting for you cannot achieve.
Don’t waste these moments with goodbye –
Don’t waste them without me.
Don’t waste them trying to justify,
Just spend them here with me.
Now close your eyes my child
And watch the pretty sheep.
Fall asleep forever now –
What a sweet relief.